Female Rappers that you should definitely check out!

I wanted to do this list for a while now and it always makes me smile when I think of it. These women out here got BARZ and I am all the way here for it! With that being said there are so many female rappers that don’t get the shine that they deserve. I don’t have that many people viewing my blog but I’m here to give them some shine (the little that I have).

*This list is in no particular order.*

  1. Rapsody – If you don’t know; then go find out. She’s a true Poet.
  2. Remy Ma – She’s back. I was so elated to hear that Remy Ma was release from jail. I was so sick of the bullshit that was being released from other artist male and female. So when I read that she was out; I was all up in google’s ass hitting refresh until I saw she dropped something. When I heard her on “They Don’t Love You No More” I spazzed. Her word play is phenomenal and I know a lot of people don’t like how harsh her voice is but fuck them that’s what I love about her. Her flow in my opinion can be a bit off. For example; Detroit rappers and how sometimes they don’t hit those vital beats they just flow right through them thus making it sound a little off. The difference between those Detroit rappers that have that type of flow and Remy Ma’s flow is that, I feel like, they do it on purpose and she doesn’t and in that aspect alone do I feel like she may need some work. Other than that I feel like she is very lyrical and takes her time to think about who she comes across as. Her recent song with A$AP Ferg “East Coast” was fuckin’ dope! She represented the east coast well
  3. Cardi B – I’m definitely jumping on the band-wagon with this one and I’m so happy to do so. I saw a few of her viral videos on Instagram but other than that I never heard of her until I came across “Red Barz”. When I heard that I was hype as fuck! CARDI B GAVE THAT WORK! She was consistent with her powerful flow throughout the entire song and did not waiver once. Now with her song “Bodak Yellow” Cardi B is making history as the first female rapper to top the Billboard Hot 100 chart without a featured artist since Lauryn Hill. She not only made a hit but she did while spittin’ some crucial bars.
  4. Leikeli47 – Hopefully you heard her cypher on the 2017 BET Hip Hop Awards or heard her new album Wash & Set but if you haven’t you need to. She gives me Missy Elliot vibes with some vogue-able beats and I love it. Her voice is different but in the best way. My favorite song by her is 2nd fiddle on her album Wash & Set. Now she does sing (her singing is pretty good) and she does have some Reggae music (it’s poppin’) but that shouldn’t take away from the fact that she spits.
  5. Lady Leshurr – For all my oversees music lovers. She’s funny and pretty dope.
  6. Azealia Banks – Okay I know she has had some trouble with beef and social media and everything else that could go wrong has. However, she is an AMAZING RAPPER! Take a listen and look beyond the crap that has been/is going on with her.
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Flying the coop

Alone with my thoughts in my apartment.

It’s so crazy to think about. I have my own place; I’m officially on my own. I check my own bathroom for monsters…also underneath the bed and the closets but that’s neither here nor there.

I officially went on my own in 2012. I lived with about 30 females in two spacious rooms and one big ol’ open shower bathroom. I did that for 8 and a half weeks. Got to love those gross ass barracks. That’s right guys! My first time all alone was for basic training. Basic was a trial to say the least but I met some great people and made some life-long friends along the way. I was 22 years old, however, there were some tough moments. I missed out on a lot of family time, and I’m not the one to harp on being around those knuckle heads but I really missed them. So, when I got my first letter and made my second phone call (the first phone call is a pre-written statement therefore doesn’t count) I cried like a baby. Those letters and phone calls, as short and simple as they were, meant everything to me. Maybe I need to apply that mentality to present time and call my family more often. Yikes! Anyway. I had great support from my sisters to help me deal with being all alone and I was there for them in return, well some of them. Fuck you Big-Bird! Inside joke. Lol

*Side Bar*

If requested I can definitely give all the information and/or juicey details on basic training.

So, after basic training there was tech school. I had a roommate in a small dorm room. I hated it. Roommates are not for me. I mean sharing a bathroom with someone who sheds hair like a balding dog is disgusting enough, but when the female doesn’t clean up after herself…I can’t take it. Tech school was short for me but I bonded with friends and really got to see what life is like without mommy and daddy. I mean had bills to pay, snacks to buy, and love to find.

Moving forward, I lived in another dorm with an attached shared bathroom and then moved back home, then finally my own apartment.

I had so many plans for my first apartment. My Pinterest is full of cool ideas, wonderful colors, and organization hacks. Now ask me how many of those ideas did I have time or energy to work through. ONE! UGH! Coming home late and having to cook dinner. Working out or pretending to workout with the lowest speed on the tredmill. Being so mentally exhausted that you stare at the craft project in the corner of the room roll your eyes, sink into the couch, and binge watch G.O.T. Then there’s relationships/friendships that take up time. Last but not least, please understand that HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS! All of that just means that I love my apartment and I love being alone, but honey, its not as easy as it seems. Being on your own is truely revealing; seeing yourself as you are without the limitations of parental guidelines. It’s also very difficult. Balancing your social life with your work life all while maintaining your mental/physical health and paying the bills on time; it is not a walk in the park.

Eventually you will get the hang it and be able move like clockwork. Flying the coop is a beautiful thing. Just make sure you’re ready for it.

Anxiety, Relationships, and Happiness

 

I have to mentally prepare myself to go out.

Basically to go to places like, work, lounges, brunch, etc.  I have to get my mind wrapped around the fact that I am going somewhere and I won’t be coming right back.  So, I say my affirmation, breathe, you’ll be fine, be calm, you’re safeI’ll get that through to myself and I be ready to go.  Then, once I get to where ever I’m going I’m usually fine.  It does freak me out a little to think I have to kind of psych myself up to go to work in the morning and admittedly I do say that affirmation throughout my day at work.  Like how much do you hate your job, JEEZ!!

I don’t like unexpected changes when it comes to going places.  E.g. when I get off work I usually go straight home.  I may get a call or someone says, “hey, lets go out”.  I’ll start to panic a little.  Then I’ll have to start my affirmation again, breathe, you’ll be fine, be calm, you’re safe.  It’s the little panic part that I don’t like.  My mind just goes off on a tangent about what can go wrong, or do I have money for it, or am I dressed right.  My affirmation is there to just pause or stop the thoughts and to prevent a panic attack.  This affirmation along with controlled breathing and other medicinal things (lol) have really helped me.  It’s been a while since my last panic attack.

I am uncomfortable with telling people what I do for a living (I’m an assistant).

I’m uncomfortable because I’m afraid I’ll come off as a failure.  I was in the military but I didn’t go to college and sometimes people will ask me where I went to school and I’ll instantly feel my heart sink and a cloud of judgment and failure come over me.  I don’t think you have to go to college to be successful in a career.  That’s just something, I believe, people force on you.  Granted your job choices are limited, but that’s where certificates and OJT comes in.  Not everyone wants to be a doctor or a lawyer; there are so many different paths to take and so many different ways to take them.  However, my initial thought or judgement about people are that they will think less of me because I didn’t.  It’s wrong of me to automatically judge but, it scares me to think that someone may doubt my intelligence because I didn’t I didn’t go to college.  It’s a bit doltish to think that, I know.  Nevertheless, it’s a fear of mine I would like to overcome.  I can’t let what people may or may not think of me take over.  I put too much pressure on myself as is; I shouldn’t take on someone else’s assumed perception as well.

I have a STRONG aversion toward some women around my man. 

I don’t like it.  It’s like what does your girl – friend give you that I can’t?  I can see having a guy – friend; that gives you a break from me being a woman.  So, what does that girl – friend do for him?  There’s no need for another female friend, I’m your friend.  That’s like my best friend going out and getting a new friend and that friend calling my best friend her bestie.   NO.  NO. NO.  That’s not happening.

So, I figure I’ll just have to make him see it from my side.  I’ll start hanging out with all my guy – friends just so he can feel what I feel.  But that’s not right, it’s spiteful and I’m just doing that because I’m jealous and hateful.  I can’t tell him that I am; because if I do then he’ll hold on to that and use it against me.  E.g.  ME: Baby I don’t want you to go out because it’s going to be too many women around you.  HIM: Why do you always have to be so jealous, I’m not doing nothing.  In an instant I’m pissed because you called me jealous and if it were flipped he would feel the same.  That word gets me so vexed coming from another person.

Men or Women cheating with people that they thought were just friends happens a lot.  I just want my feelings toward this to be acknowledged as something that happens to be a frequent possibility.  Also, I need him to respect our relationship and if i’m not comfortable with something; take it seriously.  As well as, I have to learn to let go and trust; I can’t have all this worry weighing me and my relationship down.

I’m too young, to smart, and just overall too damn amazing to let any of this hold me back.  I have a beautiful life and I need to appreciate it more than I do.  It’s time to be truly happy.  So no more judging people, spitefulness, jealousy, and anger. 

Just let go, and…

Breathe, you’ll be fine, be calm, you’re safe.

 

-alyssa

TOP 3 THINGS I HATE TODAY Season 1 – Episode 2

**Disclaimer: Hate is a strong word and you should always try to find the positive in every situation.**

**But sometimes you just gotta say, “FUCK THAT! WHAT ARE YOU MY MOM!?!”**

1. Man-Spreading.

Man-spreading, for those who don’t know, is

the practice whereby a man, especially one traveling on public transportation, adopts a sitting position with his legs wide apart, in such a way as to encroach on an adjacent seat or seats.” – Google Definitions

Man-spreading has become a world-wide known issue. So much so that it is strictly banned in the city of Madrid. Also, New York is now running a campaign against it.

Pause…I need a second. I just want to get through this without getting pissed off. *Takes deep relaxing breath in, then screams to exhale.*

I cannot stand this shit! WHY?!? Because, I, being a female with a thicker a bottom; have to sit on crowded train next a man that thinks it’s completely necessary to cock his legs open like a prostitute on a Friday night. Sir, your little ding-dong does not need that much space. Let a man come on here and say, “Well, then you should just stand up.”. No, bitch you need to close your legs. This is not the time to be ‘bustin’ it open for a real one’! I have zero one’s for you honey! Now, because John Doe wanna open his legs and cross the seat barrier I have to make decisions. Either:

  • Stand up. (just determined that wasn’t going to happen)
  • Treat you like you’re a child and ask you gently to please close your legs. (not happening)
  • Not say anything. Close my legs more then they already are; cutting off any and all air flow to my vagina and risk a yeast infection from the tight ass pants I decided to wear because, bitch, I’m cute. (Nope, I’m not risking my vaginal health for you!)
  • Reclaim the seat by politely pushing that man out the way. (I like this one).

The moral of this post is, have some respect for other people’s space. If you feel the need to man-spread think twice and if you do decide to cross that seat barrier while I’m next to you trust and believe you’re going to feel the wrath of this polite push!

2. Being broke and having friends w/ money.

It’s not fun all the time, trust me. They will get tired of paying for stuff after a while. LOL. It sucks going out to a bar or a lounge and paying the cover to get in but not having enough for drinks, food, hookah etc. Having to sit there sober and trying to have a conversation with someone who drunk or other is the worst thing ever (melodramatic). I don’t know if anyone out there has ever tried to have a conversation with a drunk person while sober but for those of us that have it’s probably one of the conversations you’ll remember for the rest of your life. That talk was either:

  1. Tears rolling down your face funny
  2. Revealing as hell (I’m talking, Barney from ‘How I Met your Mother’ passed Java the Hutt stage drunk *fan joke*)
  3. Aggressive (somebody said some fighting words)
  4. Inevitably cut short because that person’s ‘song’ came on.
  5. Inevitably cut short because of projectile vomit (smh disgusting)
  6. Inevitably cut short because…”bitch, are you asleep right now?!?”
  7. Them trying to listen and slowly nodding but you realize nothing is registering so you just start saying random shit.

Listen, I’m not saying when you go out you GOTTA get drunk in order to have fun. You do not! There is nothing wrong with being sober. All I’m saying is the conversation will be different if your friends decide to get wasted while your sober. Also, it’s sucks not having the money to buy a drink when you want to.

Another thing that sucks for me being around friends with money is, watching them do all the fun stuff while you sit at home bonding with yourself or pets. How about when you go on Snapchat and see your bestie at a concert with another friend. *rolls eyes* Seeing pictures on Instagram with that other friend and your bestie in California livin’ it up on a balcony with a view to die for and…wait for it… #girlstrip #besties…yes, your best friend just got stolen with a hashtag because you’re broke.

Then this happens.

“Teresa, IS THAT A FUCKING TESLA! Bitch you JUST bought a house! I’m so happy for you but what the FUCK do you do for a living?!? Never-mind, GET IN THE FUCKING CAR! We’re going to cheesecake, don’t worry YOU’RE paying!”

3. Fake-out Pockets on women’s clothing.

If you’re wearing women’s pants right now, do me a favor, I want you to put your hand in your pockets.

What happened?

Was it a little loose and only a quarter of your hand could actually go through, thus making the pocket useless, unless you don’t care about the tampon you put in there falling out when you bend over? Was it a pretend pocket that’s sewn up so you have to put it all in your butt pocket? Do you even have butt pockets? Is it that little coin pocket that you can just barely fit a house key in but can’t get it out so you have to shimmy it up from the bottom? Does the key stab you when you sit? Did you have to stand up or kick one leg out because the pockets are too tight? Do you have a zipper on those workout pants? How many times did that zipper break? Is the zipper/pocket on your lower back so it feels weird having your phone in it? Can you even fit your phone in it? What about those zipper pockets on those black jeans you got on? Do they work or does it get stuck halfway? They don’t work, do they?

Raise your hand if you just don’t have any pockets? Don’t you a want full range of motion with your arms and not have to carry around a purse? That sling purse is so distracting from your outfit, ain’t it? You got a wrist-let? You have to dance with that annoying big ass clutch huh? Somebody knocked over your purse? Your shit everywhere? Damn. That’s crazy.

Now go put your hand in a men’s clothing pocket.

Feel the depth? You can fit your whole arm in that bitch huh? Feel that security?

Mhmm…

Tell them to do jumping-jacks. Did you just watch nothing fall out?

Yup I know…

Tell them to sit down and get that chapstick out their pants. Did they only have to move to one side and with no effort and just pull that bitch out?

So done…

Now get mad because you cant find a cute little bookbag that goes with that outfit and make that person wearing the men’s pants carry everything.

My Gift.

I touched on the subject of my gift, what it was, and if I would be able to recognize it in a previous post. However, talking to my mother and listening to other people I decided to expand and really dig in. Hopefully by doing so, I can gain an understanding of what my gift may be or you, as my readers, can help me further understand. So, Let’s see where this goes. Please keep in mind that none of this is planned or completely thought out. I’m Just freely thinking aloud.

In my post titled ‘Thursday’ I asked myself the following questions:

“…’What is my gift? When will I recognize it?’

‘If I do recognize my gift will I be strong enough to take hold of it and run with it?’…”

After posting this and really letting it settle in I realized that I had asked these questions in the wrong order. The question, “What is my gift?” should have been the last thing on my mind. I also don’t think any of it should have been phrased as a question.

I’m beginning to see that in order to receive or accept something you must be open to it first. Your mind, body, and spirit all must be open to see something that is bigger than you. Thanks to my parents I am a giver and I don’t want anything in return. If I got it you got it, period. I was raised to be independent and to figure things out when times got rough. Which are not a bad qualities to have at all. However, I am not open and I refuse help and acts of kindness. I remember my family members taking me and my cousins shopping just because of the love they had for us. Yet, I was still hesitant to let them buy me anything. I would always say, “no thank you” or if they talked me into getting something I would get the cheapest thing there or feel horrible because I got the expensive thing and I would spend the rest of the day beating myself up psychologically.

I don’t like accepting gifts. Let me clarify I will do it, but I don’t like it. I hate asking for help. Help means (to me) failure and please let me explain why. I went to a Catholic school in NJ for a short time and I was raised a christian. I am black and I was in a predominately white school and I was the only black female, at the time, in this particular class so I was already feeling a bit like the different one. Then she walked in. A black girl, a girl that looked like me, her hair was big and curly and I remember being so excited because she had on the shorts and not the skirt uniform and thinking she has to be my friend. She was so cool! So I was brave that day, I talked to people and made friends. I was feeling myself, I started answering questions in class, went up to the chalk board (I’m old), played 7-up and I guessed who put my thumb down (it’s a game). Then, is was time to open up the religion books. There were tests in the book you had to answer and I felt brave enough to ask for help. The one time I asked for help; my teacher made me feel dumb as fuck. Yelling at me in front of the class because I didn’t know the name of this saint. The look of ‘how dumb are you’ on her face still haunts me. Everyone in class laughed at me including that cool girl. I felt defeated, like that sunken hurt you feel when you fail. After that I was silent in class. Never asked for help and never answered when called upon. When a teacher would call my name I’d stare at them, eventually they’d get uncomfortable and go to the next student. 5th grade is where the trouble started and is a separate subject that I will address in another post. The point I’m trying to make is me being receptive towards gifts and help goes back pretty far. So breaking that habit has been a challenge that I have been battling for years.

Moving forward, I would like to repeat myself. You must be open to receive; mind, body, and spirit. Let me take a second and break this down. Example: If I am not open-minded I will not be able to receive criticism correctly. If I am not physically sharing with someone my story or listening to theirs, that person or I may never receive that wisdom. If my spirit isn’t open, I will not be able to believe in my future and the potential that I have. My future is an idea that I have to believe in. Belief in one’s self requires your spirit to be open to any and all possibilities. Without an open spirit you do not have belief.

So when I feel lost or like everyone else is succeeding, traveling, and like I said, “soaring above me.”. That’s why, because I’m not receptive. Others have taken hold of that which they were given and ran when they got it!

There is no questioning if I will recongize my gift; I know whats mine and I will take it.

There is no questioning if I will run with it. I am no stranger to hard work, the feeling of failure and I am no longer afraid to ask for help.

I will never ask, “what is my gift?” again, if my mind, body, and spirit are open I will know.

Once you’ve learned something, anything, you can’t take it back. If you learn what your gift is you know it’s going to take hard work and dedication to succeed. If I stay ignorant to this I don’t have to put forth that effort. Ignorance is bliss but it’s not for me.

I now know my gift, I recognize my gift, and Imma run like hell now that I got it.

TOP 3 THINGS I HATE TODAY Season 1 – Episode 1

**Disclaimer: Hate is a strong word and you should always try to find the positive in every situation.** 

**But sometimes you just gotta say, “FUCK THAT!  WHAT ARE YOU MY MOM!?!”**  

  1. Co-Workers.  Yeah I said it!  I swear I hate people sometimes, like how many times do I have to send this email to you for you to get it, Debbie! “PER MY LAST FUCKING EMAIL DEBBIE! FUCKING READ DEBBIE!”
  2. Trying to take a shit at work and people walk in. Look, everyone has the bathroom in the building designated for poops. So why the fuck are you, ma’am, walking into this bathroom mid me letting out this big ass fart.  Now I gotta hold dropping the kids off at the pool cause you wanna pee. “LINDA, I SWEAR! STOP FIXING YOUR HAIR IN THE FUCKING MIRROR AND LEAVE!  I KNOW YOU SMELL ME LINDA!  GET HELL OUTTA HERE!”
  3. Yellow post-it notes.  Like, yall mothafuckas couldn’t spring for them colorful ones? Shiit I take them pastel ones over these ugly ass yellow jawns.  Fucking DALE from purchasing got my office looking like Being Mary Jane’s house.  AND I wish y’all ninjas would go tell me to buy some myself.  BITCH, YO ASS DON’T PAY ME ENOUGH. So until I get my color stickies or a pay raise you’re gonna hear every piece of this mouth.

Thursday

While sitting at my desk several thoughts cross my mind.

‘What should I be working on?’

‘Deadass. These cramps are killing me!’

‘What is my gift? When will I recognize it?’

‘If I do recognize my gift will I be strong enough to take hold of it and run with it?’

So many thoughts; so little action.

I’ve always been the type to want to go and do but, I always ended up watching others soar above going and doing what I failed to try. Thus, making me feel left behind. I’m proud of my friends and family that are doing what they love, visiting different places, and seeing new things. But I always feel stuck watching; spying on their lives via social media.

I don’t want to be stuck anymore.

Thursday inspire me, I’m listening.

How to find a job in 22 easy steps

Currently I’m trying to venture out and find a new job that is somewhat flexible. It’s been a long hard journey but I think I have the right formula.

Step 1. Realize that your current job ain’t shit and that they lied to you about the job description, flexibility, pay rate raises, potential to move forward, and the company culture.

Step 2. Grab your resume, look at it and say, “oh fuck I haven’t been updating it as I go along, now I have to think about all the past accomplishments and bullshit some numbers to make it seem like I did something reputable”.

Step 3. Never lie on your resume, you will get caught. You can however embellish/bullshit just a little.

Step 4. Add a fuck ton of fluff pieces like that volunteer shit you did that one time 3 years ago because your friend was working there or your donation to a charity that you have zero involvement in and don’t know shit about.

Step 5. Drive, then take the train, then walk a half mile to work and stay mad about it because you can’t quit your current job until you find a new one.

Step 6. Get to work prepared to completely ignore everyone there.

Step 7. Realize that you’re the only person at work because you have a sales admin job at a small business and no one is ever there.

Step 8. Walk to the store to get lunch while seriously debating your loyalty to this company.

Step 9. Contemplate walking to the train and sending a notice to HR via personal email stating you’re leaving and never coming back

Step 10.  Go back to work, because rent is due next week .

Step 11.  Get on your computer and search random jobs near your house.

Step 12.  Read the job descriptions.  Be confused, angry, and sad that companies are now asking for Administrative Assistant to have a Bachelors Degree in anything relevant to the position like basket weaving, 5 – 7 years of experience in the exact position you’re applying for, 3 certifications 2 of which are obsolete and the other 1 cost a whole months rent to get, and of course the ability to fly.  All for the low – low wage of 40K per year!

Step 13.  Click apply, because maybe just maybe they see that you’re a quick study, experienced, and a hard worker; and want to train you because everyone can do a job with the right training.

Step 14.  Fill out the application, even the pointless repetitive experience page… BECAUSE MY RESUME DOESN’T FULLY STATE AND GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT MY FUCKING JOB HISTORY.

Step 15.  Throw the computer because they asked you to take a 45 minute test.

Step 16.  Give up and cry.

Step 17.  Get back on the computer and finish all the work you put off until the last hour.

Step 18.  Repeat steps 1 – 15 for the next 6 months until a company calls for an interview.

Step 19.  Go to interview.  Say all the right things.

Step 20.  Wait 3 months for them to come to a decision.

Step 21.  Check your mail.  See that they denied you 2 weeks ago because they don’t have the balls to call or email you just send a standard ass piece of mail with zero notice.

Step 22.  Get a call from a random job you applied and interviewed for 2 years ago.  Get the job and set up shop.

Please don’t take me seriously.   This was just my way of venting.

The Name I Chose and Why.

Alyssa from Youtube.  Why that name?  YouTube Started in ’03 I started watching and being obsessed with it in ’05 when everyone posted how to do this and that dance videos, covers of old ass songs, TopShop and Hollister OOTDs, tutorials on how to make a fraudulent wig with Outre Duby weave and that stank ass weave glue everybody had, and the only people that made the slightest bit of money on there were the tech reviewers.  I loved YouTube.  I posted and deleted so many videos you would think I invented Snapchat.  I always wanted to be on it and to talk to the people brave enough to post a video and leave it there.  I became fascinated with the thought of someone being able to view another persons life and people out there having the same problems or wanting to do the same things as me.  I was shy at the time and had all the friends i could handle, which was like 5.  I didn’t have to introduce myself  and feel awkward, I didn’t have to ask 99 questions to see if that person was into the stuff I was, I didn’t have to be embarrassed about the “lame” stuff I had fun doing, all I had to do was login and watch.

from
frəm/
preposition
  1. indicating the point in space at which a journey, motion, or action starts.
    “she began to walk away from him”
  2. indicating the point in time at which a particular process, event, or activity starts.
    “the show will run from 10 to 2”

My journey of self-love, self-hate, natural hair, being able to dance and sing where ever and when ever, laughing at myself, learning new things, and more started by watching YouTube.  I’m not gonna sit here and say YouTube is the source of all things ME but it did help me a lot.

That is why I am FROM YouTube.

 

StoryTime – A Birthday to Remember

17 August. That date is my birthday and I wasn’t always so fond of it. Throughout my teens I loved my birthday and when 20 came along I remember I was so happy just to even say the number. Going out with the girls then coming home to my parents house at 1 am just to wake up at 8 am to go to work. Then somehow make it through the day and come home to hear my mom say, “what time did you come in last night?”. My ass would always bring up my age like,” Mom, I’m 20 years old I can do that. I’M GROWN!” and her reply was mostly, “Alright, little girl.”. I was so hype all the time but not as hype as when turned 21.

My 21st Birthday though. MY TWENTY FUCKING FIRST BIRTHDAY THOUGH. BRUH! That was a night for the books.

Let me slow down and set the mood for you. Frank Ocean – Thinkin’ Bout You just came out. I was single, AYYEE! I had just broke up with my longtime friends ‘the girls’ so I was both sad and feeling free as fuck. All my cousins came to town just to celebrate the occasion and get messed up with their favorite little cousin ME! LOL I’m not the favorite.

We walked into LuckyStripe got a few drinks and it all gets a little blurry from there. All I know is I ended the night throwing up in the stall next to my cousin (I think) and having to be walked out the club by my brother and sister in-law. Once we got into the car Frank ‘mother fuckin’ Ocean came on and I went in on that song! Singing loud as hell. Had the night of my life thanks to my family.

Now I’m 26, and most of those days are behind me. I’m tired now, working a true 9 to 5, I have so many bills to pay, and I have no time to be worried about a random day on the calendar that happens to be the day I was born. Though I am grateful that I got to see this beautiful year and even more happy I get to see another one. I can’t help but to think of this as just another day. That is until my boyfriend decided to go out of his way to give me the best birthday I’ve ever had.

Warning: The man I love is an attentive man and he knows I am a simple woman that doesn’t need much to be happy.

He picked me up from the train station and we headed to my place after a few arbitrary stops. Having moved into a new state and being as broke as I am he knows I don’t have much. The first thing he pulled out was a beautiful black jewelry stand as he said, “this is kind of a selfish gift because, I am sick and tired of seeing your earring backs everywhere. You finally can get rid of this little bag with all your shit in it and hang it up.”. LOL. The next thing was two bath bombs and a big ass candle that smelled so good. I started my infused bath and he came in, lit the candle, turned off the light, and later handed me a smooth drink of Crown Royal Apple and mixed berry juice. Talk about relaxing, I played a book I had on Audible and just lost myself for a minute. I was able to completely and truly relax and that ladies and gentlemen was the best thing he could have done for me.

I don’t have much remember, so that includes tupperware, meaning I have nothing to put my leftovers in. I was using zip lock bags, foil, and pots for a long time. So, my man decided to pull out a box with those bowls in it. Ya’ll, I ’bout lost it *in my country voice*. I did not know I could be that happy over some tupperware, but it was something I wanted but couldn’t afford and him being the sweet man that he is, saw that and got them. He is ridiculous, stupid, and I hate him. I don’t like, too much of, that Lovey-Dovey B.S. so that’s just what I say to break away for a minute; I mean the exact opposite.

He made dinner. It was delicious! Chicken, corn on the cob, green beans, and biscuits. MMM the corn!!!

Moral of the story; I will always and forever remember this birthday because of him. This is the birthday that made me change my mind. I’m 26, I’ve grown older and different things make me happy now. 17 August is just a day. What’s special about that day is; I get see another emotional roller coaster of a year, my family, and the true friends I celebrate it with. To all my friends, my family, and God. Thank you, for your support in this life of mine. I love you all so much.

Mommy and Daddy thank you for having me, raising me, and loving me unconditionally.

You’re all as dumb as a box of bricks. The opposite remember.

I love you, Alyssa. Happy 26th birthday.

From your besties,

Me, Myself, and I